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Kino 2013: Cinema Parodyso

October 22, 2013

Valiantly straining against all concepts of self-editing

It has been six months, my pretty no readers. Now this happens.

UNTIL PROVEN GUILTIER

Framed for a murder he did commit, criminal mastermind Dr. Malicious is out to prove that he’s way more guilty than they’ll give him credit for.

LAWYER: “Basically, your honour, he did her skull in with a bit of pipe.”
DR. MALICIOUS: “What?! No! You think I invented three new types of deathlaser for that? I brought blueprints!”

P.S. SOIL OF YOU

She was a lonely housewife with a neglectful husband. He was the wild-eyed Irish labourer here to help with her vegetable garden. But could the forbidden love between a middle-class dilettante and a potato farmer take root?

COLM: “I’m sorry, mish, I’m a wee bit intoxicated.”
REGINE: (coyly) “Intoxicated… or intoxicating?”
COLM: “Hmm? You’ll have to speak up, I’ve shallots in me ears.”

JERSEY SHORE IN: THE GUIDOVAL OFFICE

You loved them on the small screen. Now, join the cast of Jersey Shore as they face their toughest challenge yet: saving the life of the President of the United States of America.

JOHN KERRY: (on speakerphone) “Jersey Shore? We need you at the White House immediately. We have… a Situation.”
PAULY D: “You heard him, gang – to the Guidomobile! Um. Can someone else drive, my license is suspended.”
SNOOKI: “Snooki snooki doo!”

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