The Darksiders II Opera – Death’s Lament
Inspired by Darksiders II and my lack of compulsion to figure out a boss battle therein.
Riding, riding, he’s dark rider
Exciting scything, he’s a Darksider
*A grey, trembling nothingness*
And lo and behold, pathetic humanoid
The bleak and meaningless endless void
The face of life and love destroyed
And from this swamp, they spill
There’s War, he’ll make the soldiers scurry
Watch your step, cos here comes Fury
Strife’s here, forget about your worry
*A single, distinguished voice, as a lone horserider charges past*
And me, I’m Death: I kill!
*Death wades into a sea of enemies*
Lizards, rockmen, corrupted insects
I dodge their damage, drill their defects
Bosses and hosses, smacked down with impunity
In matters of death, I’m equal opportunity
*A ghostly jury manifests*
Oh War, what you have done will echo through the ages
All the Nephilim, consigned to history pages
War deceives, and War destroys, and War downright deranges
Stop, he’s innocent!
War never changes
Death: *continues to angrily plow through enemies*
Creep, crawl, climb, and dive
This sorry apocalypse
Rewinds when I stop all this
And get out alive
*Death stops, exhausted*
But what am I if I am death?
A mere construct or concept?
Or a harbinger true
Of a destiny due
Those who feel my frosty breath?
Will I forever reap and sow?
And if I will, I ask, why so?
When I die I arise
So life holds no surprises
Or tension or reasons to grow
*He arrives at a giant platforming puzzle and gleefully parkours his way around*
Wall run, wall run
This is so much more fun
Than thwacking things with weapons
The joy it never lessens!
From ledge, across gap
All over the map
But the fun can never last
Poor Death has been typecast!
Death: *throws down his scythes*
I’ve the grace of a dancer
The voice of a bard
So why’s my only answer
To hit things really hard?
If I could just escape from here
I could enrol in law enforcement
Or give my favourite brand of beer
A horseman’s own endorsement
I could find simple enjoyment
In raising sheer, or cattle
Or join the ranks of self-employment
And be my own boss battle!
I could summon spectral horses
Teach children how to ride
But some dark celestial forces
Have damned me to the Darkside
*He picks up his weapons, and strides into a new wave of enemies*
Riding, riding, he’s a dark rider
Exciting scything, he’s a Darksider!