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Thank God It’s Cryday: Crykus

June 24, 2011

Coca-Coldwar

Because I enjoy fundamentally misunderstanding the point of traditional Japanese short-form poetry.

The above is a lie. A lie-ku.

So – some haikus based on the Crysis games, then some other first-person shooters.

Crysis

With this Nanosuit

Fighting Koreans is fun!

Aw crap aliens

Crysis 2

I kind of feel that

Wearing a diseased stranger’s

Nanosuit is gross

Far Cry 2

Look! A full checkpoint!

“Didn’t we just leave this par–“

YOU SHOT MY FACE OFF

Duke Nukem Forever

After fourteen years

It’s a case of “Hail to the

‘king goddamned awful.”

Call of Duty/Homefront/Medal of Honour/Everything Else?

BANG BANG SHOOTY BANG

Wait – why can’t I hop this fence?

I’m just in the way.

And now, naturally, we’ll end with a naughty limerick about Half-Life.

There once was a hero named Freeman

Who sometimes did work for the G-Man

It was all such a hoot

That his HEV Suit

Was soon full of scientist sem(SNIP – Ed)

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