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The Itch to Pitch: Rollin’ and Tumblrin’

May 31, 2011

Sorry. Really.

Write the whole night long.

Doom 3 comes to mind, specifically, though I have no idea if I'm remembering accurately, since that was the most forgettable since... that... one... with the... thing...

From the mind that brought you Titanic, Avatar, and Titanic II: The Long Drift Home (a terrifying concept piece, consisting of a ninety minute close-up on the face of a minor character from the first movie, ignored by the rescue boats, tenaciously gripping a piece of flotsam, slowly floating either to safety or to his doom, his eyes gradually growing progressively emptier as he arranges into lists, aloud, the people he’d respectively kiss, marry or kill should he arrive home) comes…

Avatar 2: Out of the Blue

Jake: Now that I’m officially a Na’vi, I want to eat what the Na’vi eat.

Neytiri: Oh, good! Let’s go fishing in the idyllic oceans of Pandora!

(30 minutes of extravagantly expensive landscape shots later)

Jake: Wow, these oceans sure are beautiful. Also, it’s lucky that Na’vi can talk underwater.

Neytiri: It sure i–Oh no, look out! It’s Colonel Quaritch, reincarnated as a Pandorracuda, out to avenge his arrow-y death!

Quaritch: Grrrrr!

Jake: Haha! Look at his little fish eyes!

On a completely unrelated note, I have a Tumblr now. For no reason whatsoever, so don’t bother looking for it, or at it. But it did justify my excellent title pun, so.

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