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Half-Life 3 Dev Commentary Revealed

October 16, 2015

"Not... that I in... TENDED... to take... this long. I had... other... heroes... to manage. I wear... MANY... hats..."

Recently, the Internet noticed a file named hl3.txt was included in a DOTA 2 update, and everyone had a massive brain aneurysm and died. Or something. Later, everyone noticed it was probably mostly inconsequential.

OR WAS IT

Below, you’ll find some excerpts from what appear to be subtitles for Valve’s trademark Developer Commentary that were hidden away in the file. The’re not labelled by name, so it can be hard to know who’s saying what, but some bits are easy to guess. Don’t read on if you don’t want to see massive spoilers, obv.

(Rise and shine, Mr Freeman…)

I Played The Witcher 3, Then Wrote 930 Words About a Game from 2011

June 27, 2015

Sorry, the headline and first sentence are the only references to The Witcher 3 in this post. I'm a dirty SEO trickster

In a post-Witcher 3 lull, I went back and finally finished the Most Forgettable Game of 2011, id Software’s Rage. OR DID I?

Yes. I did.

Some thoughts.

(Despite all my Rage, you click to see the rest of the page…)

If You’re Going to Lie About Splinter Cell, Do It With Conviction

March 17, 2015

Sam Fisher wasn't created. He was Bourne. And Neeson.

9 facts about Splinter Cell that are so hard to believe, you probably shouldn’t.

(Splinter Cell: Blah, clicks for more…)

Molyneux Boss, Same as The Old Boss

February 16, 2015

Molyneux, of course, used to play for the Philadelphia hockey team, the Pathological Flyers

There’s nothing I can really add to the recent Peter Molyneux controversy. So, very quickly, here’s what I’m adding.

(Click to find out WHAT’S INSIDE THE CUBE (article)…)

Maybe Your Best Course Would Be to Hoplitely

December 27, 2014

Things that go Hop in the Lite

As a mobile game, the title “Hoplite” doesn’t immediately call to mind the spearmen of Ancient Greece, instead sounding a bit like the free trial of a cheap Hopscotch knockoff with numbers upwards of 4 locked behind a paywall. Hoplite is a bit like hopscotch, come to think of it, only rather than numbered squares, you have a hex-grid, and in place of childhood laughter and frivolity, you have a spectacular turn-based strategy game. So.

(So! SO…)